My first cold water swim

Two years ago, I was living in a shed at the end of my friend’s garden in Spain. Attempting to write my first book, I chucked myself into isolation, which made me incredibly lonely. I slipped into a downward spiral of imposter syndrome, self-doubt and wondered what the hell I was doing with my life. I thought I was going to be living in a shed for the rest of my years and couldn’t see out of those little four walls. My breath was short and despite being surrounded by orange trees and olive vines under the hot Spanish sun, it felt like I was living under a very dark cloud that didn’t seem to blow away.  

I returned home for an event and caught up with friends in a London bar. Conversations ran from weddings to career promotions to baby arrivals and home renovations; none of which I could add to. At 35 years old, I thought I’d failed at life. As I tried my hardest to suppress my feelings, they soon exploded out into an embarrassing panic attack right in the middle of the bar.

The following morning, I peeled myself off my friend’s couch and headed to the Serpentine, a lake slap bang in the middle of the city, in Hyde Park. I grew up as a keen swimmer, and had always meant to swim at the London lake, but never seemed to have got round to it. Stephanie, a regular Serpentine swimmer met me with a humungous smile. I feigned one in return. Stood in our swimsuits on the edge of the lake in March, Stephanie grabbed my hand as dog walkers passing by turned their heads. I squeezed her hand and grimaced as my first toe dipped in, muttering that it was cold.  

“Come on. It’ll make you feel wonderful.” She said as my feet planted firmly into the ground.  After three, Stephanie strode through the water, pulling me behind her. I shrieked as the cold Serpentine tingled my skin all the way up to my mid thighs as I stood with my arms crossed clutching my shoulders, studying the exit.  “Come on.” She said again disappearing under, reemerging with water in her eyes magnifying them like a pair of monocles teamed with a colossal grin and a chuckle. She reached for my hand, counted to three and tugged me under. I shot back out like a rocket, squealing from the pit of my stomach as I bounced on the spot, whilst my hands began to applaud.  Stephanie squealed. She grabbed both my hands and we bounced together spinning in a circle like schoolgirls in a playground, as we continued to squeal and howl with laughter. I collapsed onto my back and floated, clutching my aching smiling cheeks, watching the few clouds in the sky melt and drift. I could hear nothing but the echo of my breathing muffled through my submerged ears. My lungs sucked in as much air as they could. I held it for a few moments and then exhaled, squeezing out every last millilitre. It was the longest breath I’d made in a while. I did it again. I was almost meditating as I floated right in the middle of London. I was soon disturbed as I neared a floating buoy with a duck stood warning me not to get too close to its nest. I apologised chuckling and then admired a bevy of swans gliding past elegantly, who unlike the duck, seemed unperturbed by my presence.  A skein of Canadian geese took off over my head, leaving me mesmerized as I heard the whir of their wings. For the first time in months, I felt alive and like Stephanie said I would- wonderful.

Stephanie had to dash off, but as the sun beamed I sat on a bench outside the Serpentine changing room in my swimsuit to dry. 

“So, where do you live then?” An older swimmer asked me.

“Oh. Well,” I began sheepishly, “I’m sort of living in a shed at the moment. In Spain.”

“How wonderful. That’s how I wrote my first book. In a shed at the end of my friend’s garden in Spain.” He said. I looked at him trying to work out if he was being serious.

“Isn’t a magical experience?” I nodded, staring at him in awe as he shared anecdotes of his lifestyle that I apparently shared.   

Two hours passed and I was now fully dry, but still sat on the bench whilst hearing other swimmers’ stories as they came and went. No one minded that they hadn’t met me before. Whoever sat beside me spoke to me like I’d been swimming there for years. After just one swim I felt apart of their community, something I’d yearned for a long time.  I swam in the Serpentine every morning until I returned to my little shed in Spain. 

That winter I swam the length of the River Thames, dressed as a mermaid to highlight how we’re choking our creatures with plastic. As well as finding tonnes of plastic I also discovered even more wonderful people who swim outdoors. People appeared behind rural reeds, asking if they could join me. Armored in neoprene and goggles, sometimes I didn’t even get to see their face. They all wanted to help me on my journey and take care of their part of the river. I became such a fan of swimming outdoors that I spent half of 2019 cycling around Britain connecting with others who like to do it too. Bookending each day with a cold-water swim pumped adrenaline through my veins, which made it very hard for me to stop.

Now, if ever I feel a wave of a foggy head I remind myself to go for a swim.

Benefits

So many people I have met have shared stories of how swimming outside has helped them with their own anxiety, depression and grief. One swimmer told me how it doesn’t make his problems go away, but for that moment, when he’s swimming he just thinks about that moment as his problems are left in a pile with his clothes on shore.

Swimming also helps with physical health. Blood rushes to our extremities as we get cold, which makes our heart work harder, helping our circulation.   

With its rise in popularity, there are hundreds of groups popping up all over the country. So there will always be someone readily available for you to join. With a group comes camaraderie, lots of giggles and most importantly, copious amounts of cake. Cake and swimming outdoors goes hand in hand.

We also get a natural high as cold water swimming activates endorphins. I often feel quite invincible, like I can take on the world, when I get out the water.

Weleda

My skin is sensitive and really suffers in the cold. Before I get in the water I smother my face with Calendula face cream, which protects skin in harsh environments. After my swim, I drizzle Arnica Muscle Soak in my bath and lie there until I’m warm through. Then I moisturize with Almond Soothing Facial Lotion and a good dollop of Skin Food.